I’m a Phony

I am a phony. I’ve known this since my editor asked for a second book. There I was, I’d submitted a synopsis and three chapters, and now I had a contract and a deadline. All I had to was write the rest of the story. Panic hit. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to produce anything my editor would like. The first book, in my mind, had been a fluke. I’d lucked out. Now everyone would know the truth.

Well, somehow I did manage to write that book and the editor loved it and it was published.

But, someday someone is going to catch on.

What I’ve learned over the years, and after having had 30 books published, is that panicky feeling isn’t going to go away. I still don’t know what I’m doing. Halfway through every book I’ve written, I’m sure it’s not going to work. (That’s where I’m at right now.)

I’ve also learned that I’m not alone in feeling that way, that writers who have had 70+ books published, who have appeared on best seller lists, and have thousands of positive reviews have those same feelings. An award winning writer friend of mine recently wrote: “I’m always sure the book is terrible. I’m always waiting for an editor to discover that I don’t know how to write.”

Oh, some writers may say they never feel that way. I’m not sure I believe them, but maybe it’s true.

I do hate it when new writers or wannabe writers look at me as someone who has the answers. I don’t. I’m always learning. And what works for me may not work for another writer. We all have to find the process that will get us from page one to the end.

I’m a phony, but the story ideas keep coming, so I’m going to keep writing. I just hope it’s a while longer before people discover I don’t know what I’m doing.

(And while I’m at it, I’ve put all of the e-book versions of my books on sale at Smashwords.com for this week –March 1, 2020 to March 7, 2020. ) FOR ONE WEEK ONLY, March 1, 2020 – March 7, 2020, all of my ebooks on SMASHWORDS are 50% off. Check them out.

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