I believe most writers are manic/depressive. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but emotionally. For me it would explain my wide mood swings. I get a good review, and I’m on the moon. Get a rejection (or a bad review) and I’m in the dumps. The euphoria and depression can be short term or long, but for all the years I’ve been writing, that’s been my pattern. And, at least in the writing world, I don’t seem to be alone.
I’m in the depression phase right now. In part that’s because I slipped and fell on my tailbone the end of June. (See if that kitchen floor gets mopped again.) That’s not a good area to hit when you spend most of the day seated in front of a computer. Up until this week I could barely stand to sit here for longer than an hour. I’m also in a lot of pain. I guess I do have a compression fracture, but more than that, I seem to have pushed my right hip out of alignment. (We’re working on that in physical therapy.)
Drugs have helped ease the pain, but they’ve also made me spacey and sleepy. Thank goodness my husband could drive us anywhere I (or we) needed to be. Maybe some drugs can make writers feel more creative. These certainly didn’t.
To add to my depression, I’ve received a couple rejection letters (one was very complimentary, but she still turned the story down; the other was pretty much a form rejection. Nice, but still a no.) I know I’m always telling others to keep sending those queries out, and I will…in time. Right now I’m struggling with all the self-doubts associated with this profession.
I’m also totally frustrated. I have Photoshop and a Photoshop for Dummies book, yet I still can figure out how to make that program work. In my mind’s eye I know how I’d like a book cover to look, but I can’t get it from an idea to a reality. Very frustrating.
This isn’t a plea for sympathy, simply an explanation of why I’ve missed a couple weeks of blogging. I know this mood I’m in could turn around in a minute if I should get some good news and/or if the pain in my back goes away. I have a wonderful support group of writers, on-line and nearby, and I know from experience the manic phase isn’t far away, so next week I hope I’ll have something truly inspirational to impart.
Until then, keep writing, even if you’re feeling down.